Self Reflection

A Snow Plowers Wife

My husband is the hardest working man I know. He goes above and beyond for our family.
I can’t even put into words how much I appreciate what he does for us; it’s something I don’t practice saying enough to him.

All of what he does for work is dangerous.
He is literally the best at everything he puts his mind to because he is so incredibly smart. (Did I mention handsome too!)
I honestly worry about him all day long. Sometimes I don’t allow myself to really think about it because it’s drives me crazy. It makes me anxious and extra grumpy, which all together just makes for an utterly bad use of energy, especially when I know he’s the best of the best.

I don’t even know how he does what he does for us.
I don’t even understand the mechanics of his daily work life.
I do know I couldn’t do what he does. And I’m so grateful he’s my husband.

Winter time, while it’s our favorite time of year, is especially wearing on him.
Besides the higher bills we have to pay each month.
Or with winter storms where the power could go out; though we have been incredibly lucky through the storms we have had. *knock on wood*
And dealing with having to get the car out of the snow when you have to go somewhere.
Because of where we live, we have to take opportunity to extra income when we can.
And so he plows.

Its a nervous feeling I can’t shake seem to shake as easily as his other jobs; much like the feeling when he does the paper every morning only much more persistent.
I worry so much that my stomach hurts.
I sometimes feel crazy for worrying as bad as I do.
I’ve tried to even talk myself out of worrying by thinking my reaction is partly because I was pregnant and due this time of year.

But in all honesty, it scary knowing the person you love; is tired, and out driving around in the icy windy roads pushing snow for everyone else.
The heaviness of the trees make it more potential for something to fall.
His truck could get stuck or crash into something.
There are so many things that can happen weather or reactionary because of a snow storm.
Its a scary thought when you are going to sleep, snuggling with your kids while your other half is driving around using the little bit of energy he has being on the road.
It makes sleeping restless and nearly impossible, since even my dreams are riddled with worry.

I worry how the roads are.
If it’s snowing hard so its hard to see what he’s doing.
If he’s eaten anything.
If he needs coffee or water.
If his head is hurting.
How bad his back is hurting from sitting.
How wet his clothes are.
When he last has taken a few minute break, or if he has at all.
How long he’s been up for.
I wonder if he gonna be able to come home and rest. And if he can, if he’ll need to go back out to plow for more.

I usually end up calling him a bunch when he’s plowing especially during the day. Unfortunately it usually overloads his already overwhelmed mind.

And when he gets home, especially if its early enough that it’s light out, I usually end up watching him do stuff around the yard.
I watch him because I no longer need to worry.
Because I’ve missed him.
And he’s here.
He’s tired, but alive.

He’s being his incredible provider and still taking care of things outside before stopping to relax.
Things like shoveling the steps or sanding the driveway after he plowed it.
Getting snow off my car for me just in case.

It makes me love him so much more.
He’s incredible.
And he’s mine.
He’s my better half.
Which makes me the luckiest woman alive.

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